road rage

Trinh struggled to get her shirt off.  She flailed one arm about, using the other one to stabilize the steering wheel.  She was relieved she decided to wear her bra today, as well as a tank top underneath.

“What is that?”

Trinh turned to look at her mother in the passenger seat.  Phuong was pointing at Trinh’s arm.

“Oh.” Trinh cursed inside her head.  She suddenly remembered that she had never told her mother about her recent tattoo.  It was a small, although bright purple triangle.  “It’s nothing, mom. Just…a tattoo.”

“When did you get that?” Phuong’s voice was rising with both concern and anger.

“Last month.” Trinh said calmly.

“Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“You weren’t…around.”

“Trinh!” Phuong shouted, but then contained herself.  She rolled down the window and took deep breaths, letting the wind flush over her.

Trinh didn’t bother saying anything else, didn’t want to explain herself to her mother.  She had stopped doing that a while ago.

“I called your friend Philip. To tell him you’re coming home.” Phuong said suddenly, completely changing the subject.

“Why would you do that?” It was Trinh’s turn to be surprised.

“He likes you, he was very excited when I told him.”

“He’s a scab, mom. And weird, and gross, and I’m never going to like him back.”

“Why don’t you give him a chance?” Phuong was almost pleading.

“Because.” Trinh gritted her teeth, and the steering wheel. “Damnit, mom, you know why.”

“Don’t speak like that to me.” Phuong said sternly. “Just see him a few times, see what it is like. You might start to like him.”

“No, mom. It’s not going to happen.” Trinh found herself speeding up.

“Why?”

“Because I’m gay! You already know this, why do I have to keep telling you?” Trinh shouted.

Suddenly there was a loud pop, Trinh felt the car slump and knew immediately that the tire had blown.  She held onto the steering wheel firmly and maneuvered the vehicle over to the side.  She flipped on the emergency lights.

Finding it the perfect excuse to not speak to her mother, Trinh jumped out of the car and went to the trunk.  She popped it open and scoured through the junk to find the spare tire.  To her dismay, the spare was also flat.

“Mom!” Trinh shouted.

“What?” Phuong stuck her head out the window.

“Spare tire?”

“Oh. That happened last week. I’m sorry, I forgot to change it.”

Trinh closed her eyes, trying to breathe.  Not only had her mother come unannounced, guilt tripped her into coming on this mini road trip, but now she was stranded with her.

Trinh slowly made her way to the passenger side.  Phuong had rolled her window back up, she knew her daughter was not happy with her.

“What the hell, mom! Why wouldn’t you fix the spare tire? What the hell are we supposed to do now? Oh, hey, why don’t we get Philip to come help us, huh? How about that? Make the world a better place. I’ll just marry Philip and have lots of babies, just for you mom. Because you can’t seem to understand, or you don’t want to, after five years, accept that your daughter is a big fucking lesbian. Well, I am. And you need to get over it, because I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend to be the daughter you want me to be, instead of the daughter you promised to love no matter what. No more, I just..I just can’t do it anymore.” Trinh stomped away, kicking the dirt.

Phuong slowly rolled the window back down. “Okay, honey. Just walk it off.”  She sighed and watched her daughter walk away from her.  It was an image she was getting used to.

It was difficult for Phuong, but she opened her door and stepped out of the car.  She stood there, leaning against the side.  Trinh had stopped walking, but couldn’t yet bring herself to go back to her mother.

So they stood, each holding their ground.  Both watching the sun set.  It would be a much longer road trip then either was prepared for.

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~ by vicky_luu on December 4, 2008.