the end
She was exiting my life as quickly as she had entered it. Like a tornado she enveloped people and carried them off, shaking them up, but she would place them back exactly where they were, feeling entirely different.
I stood in the center of the now empty apartment, sweeping up the last bits of dust bunnies. They laid there now, in a pile between my worn out shoes, waiting for their final resting place. In that moment I, too, wondered that about them. Where do any of us end up?
She emerged from the bathroom with her last few toiletries, stuffed them in a bag, hauled the thing over her shoulder.
“Thanks for cleaning.” Her voice echoed in my head.
“Of course.” I smiled, despite myself.
It was an ending I wasn’t sure I wanted anymore, but one had I no control over. It was time for the tornado to pass. And no human being was ever able to control the weather. Not yet, anyway.
She had this way about her, you see, that lured you into her world, made it apart of yours. There really was no escaping it. Not that you’d choose to exit anyways if you saw the big red neon sign flashing in front of you. Maybe you’d approach it, but then you would look over your shoulder there she would be, looking at you. And that’s all it really takes, one look.
I’ve always been a sucker for “the look.” Something about someone looking directly into my eyes makes me feel completely naked, vulnerable. And then I’m just putty.
Anyways, she gave me that look once and I lost it. Dropped everything I knew about living and loving. Up until her I thought playing it safe was the way to go. I was wrong. I decided to take another chance at it, since locking away my heart in storage for some time. The last girl I lent it to returned it shattered into a trillion pieces.
But this one, now, standing in front of me in her now empty apartment, this one was different. I suppose I could say I sort of knew what I was getting into, but now that I was in it, I knew it was possible of losing myself all over again. Maybe in the good way this time. I never imagined myself to be someone with enough courage to chase down a tornado, but I did. It was the craziest thing I’ve ever done, but I’ve never felt more alive.
I kissed her goodbye, held onto her for just a little longer.
“Fly free.” She whispered into my ear.
I smiled, genuinely this time, thinking of all the places she would travel, the people she would meet. It was inspiring. Someone who spent their life traveling, making pit stops just to rattle up everyone’s life. It was like a gift to enjoy just in that moment, and then she was gone, on the road again.
mmm. amazing ending.